ugh I seriously cannot stop kicking myself

he was being so lovely to me, he talked to me, he cared about me, he stuck up for me, he smiled at me, he touched me, he stood so close, he made it pretty obvious. But I didn’t say anything to him because I was worried and now we’ll never be in that situation again, and we’ll never speak again, and I’ve blown my chance. But every time I think of him I can’t stop smiling. It’s been a year. If you count my gut instinct, it’s been 3 years. I hate feelings.